Cabot Tower

Built at the summit of Mount Brandon by enslaved French prisoners of war in 1897 as the last line of defence against a full scale zombie outbreak, Cabot Tower stands at an impressive many feet high and is reputedly haunted by the spirit of Gerard LeBoutier - one of the many thousands of unfortunate labourers to have lost their lives in it's brutal and terrifying construction.

Named after John Cabot, Bristol's most notoriously evil pirate adventurer, it's unassailable walls retained the spirit of this most prominent citizen during the Bristolian civil war of '53 when three whole battallions of pro-council Cliftonites were forced to turn tail and flee after several years of attempted siege. The occupying Hartcliffian Liberation Front were only defeated twelve years later, when it was reported that their supply of drugs had ran out. The resulting lack of morale and severe withdrawals enabled the Council forces to regroup and take the tower, which was immediately converted into a children's hospital / leper colony and sold to private enterprise.

These days, Cabot Tower is in a state of severe dilapidation although an attempt at refurbishment was made in 1981. Due to a discontinuation of funds and a lack of public interest in leprosy however, this attempt was quickly abandoned.

Cabot Tower is open to the public 374 days a year, although whether or not it's worth a visit is often left up to the would-be tourist.



Cabot Tower Opening Times
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Monday: 8.27am - 14.48am
Tuesday: midnight 'til half past midnight
Wednesday: 9am-5pm
Thursday: 9.01am - 9.07pm
Friday: When the moon turns blood red and hangs heavy in the sky - 3.00pm
Saturday: 15 - 1
Sunday: 2.27am - 190.47mph
Doomday: Closed