Parasaurolophus

Parasaurolophus (Pronounced 'Passa-lauroph-dowshus', 'Poss-AL-forr-ALO-fuss', 'Passarrarra', 'Parrer-SAW-ra-Lor-PHA-GODDAMNIT', 'Pah-RAH-Saw-RA-Low-Fuss' and meaning 'Near Crested Lizard') was an unpronounceable duck-billed herbivore that was prey to many awesome carnivores during the late Cretacious period (around 532-511 million years ago in dog years). Its most notable feature by far was a large, backward facing, cylindrical crest that sprouted from the top of its head. It is this crest that gives the parasauralophus its highly imaginitive name, and has been the cause of much confusion amongst scientists, who have very little idea what it was actually used for. It is currently believed to have served several functions, including attracting a mate, amplifying the parasaurolophid's calls, and regulating body temperature. Despite this general consenus many other uses have been suggested (and subsequently debunked). Suggestions for the crest's function include:

• A snorkel, to allow the animal to breathe underwater. Pretty useless for a solely land-based creature really.
• A weapon for fighting rival Parasauralophids.
• A foliage deflector, to protect the dinosaur's pretty little eyes.
• A super-awesome smell enhancer so it could detect approaching carnivores. Because large meat eating dinosaurs would have been difficult to smell, naturally.
• A case for storing chemical glands, which would allow the Parasaurolophus to 'spray jets of chemical fire, similar to the modern day bombardier beetle'! Thanks for that one, Duane Gish∞!

Whatever the crest was actually used for, there can be little doubt that it was totally ineffective as a method of defence, given the sheer number of Parasauralophus carcasses that have been found with large tooth marks in them.

Disappointing

Parasauralophus was certainly one of the larger herbivores of its day, being approximately 30 feet long and about 12 feet high when on all fours. Like most hadrosaurs (the family of dinosaur to which Parasauralophus belonged) it could walk both on all fours and on its two hind legs. This may seem impressive, but it really isn't - even people can do that! In fact - other than its considerable size, its duck-like bill and its funny-lookin' crest - Parasauralophus was one of the least impressive dinosaurs of the Cretacious period, commonly depicted in books and films as little more than a prey species to the mightier dinosaurs such as T-Rex. Taking this into account, it is little wonder that people have used their powers of wishful thinking to turn Parasaurolophus into a fire breathing, partially-aquatic warrior dragon with an insanely good sense of smell and a fierce territorial instinct. Sadly, as is often the case, the bare facts of nature can be bitterly disappointing. They'll be covering the thing in feathers, next...

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