Sell me a river
"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair"
- Tired of seeing mistakes like the above on websites and being totally unable to do anything at all to correct them?
- Would you like to make bold and interesting new mistakes all of your very own?
- Would you like to gain instant popularity on the seven Internets and sail the seas of information-based godhood?
Well, ladies and gents, to the right place you have indeed come. Welcome to the VoodooJunkie Wiki- a wiki on VoodooJunkie!
No more will inaccurate proverbs such as the above blight your cultural sensibilities... marvel at the newly bestowed ability to turn wisdom:
"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair"
into common sense:
"Without GUNS, You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair!!! By shaving scalp!!"
....but that isn't even close to half the point of this wiki, which is basically our way to extract your brains slowly over a period of many years. Yes, that's right - we want your brains! Not the physical lump of neurons and gray jelly that quivers barely protected in your fragile human skull - that wouldn't feed a family of four, for a start! No, we're far more interested in the contents of that bundle of electrochemical impulses and stodgy wet gristle - the knowledge!Knowledge, y'see, is clearly one of humanity's most precious AssEts, after HotfrickinChicks which is why we want it on our Internet, right now! Got information on some skiffle band no one's ever heard of? Give 'em a page! Do you prefer a particular type of instrument to chips? Essays please! Do you know everything there is to know about the mortar used to construct Cabot Tower? Keep it to yourself, for now. The world's not ready yet.
In short, if you know it, we want to know it too! From your first words transcribed into a comedic screenplay, right up to your last excuse note for work absences, all the way to your social security number and bank account details (PM me!!)! Anything that leaks out of your clearly messed up and twisted collective consciousnesseses! Anything at all!
Write us a song or something! Anything! Even terrible poetry*!!
So, once again, welcome to our wiki! To find out how to get cracking on some hard-core self-publishing, try the QuickHowto. Then, once you've moved away from the handrails and headed towards the centre of the pool, fill this whole damn region of Internet up with....well....stuff, we guess! The ultimate idea, of course, being the creation of a huge (and we mean huge) resource of information, some of which may even turn out to be quite useful, if we're lucky...
Give us your brains!
*Poetry must be clearly marked with a warning beforehand, in large red letters, also rating the poem out of ten for sheer awfulness and thoughtcrime.
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