Tyrannosaurus Rex

Tyrannosaurus Rex (Pronounced "TIE-ran-O-saw-rus-REKS-gon-git-cha" and meaning "Tyrant Lizard King") is a large, carnivorous dinosaur native to the North American continent. Or at least, it was native to the North American continent between 68-65 million years ago (during the late Cretacious period) before all members of its species were wiped out during a mass extinction event, possibly engineered by an angry creationist God.

Tyrannosaurus Rex, often abbreviated to T-Rex by people who wish to conserve their precious, precious oxygen was a fearsome and imposing beast. Standing on its hind legs at an impressive many feet high, it would have been able to spot its prey from a fair distance away. This would have been made easier by the slightly over-proportionate head its eyes were mounted in, which was shaped in such a way as to give it binocular vision (both eyes facing forward) and thus ensured a degree of depth perception. In addition, the nasal cavity of the tyrannosaurus rex suggested it had a decent sense of smell, although whether this would have been truly beneficial given the fact that most of the large herbivorous dinosaurs it preyed on would have probably reeked enough anyway remains to be seen.

As well as its oversized head, Tyrannosaurus rex was easily recognisable by it's tiny little flid arms, which until recently were thought to have only two fingers. However it has
since been discovered that there were actually three digits, although one of them was very very small and wouldn't have been much use when it came to typing. It is unclear exactly what use these tiny, disproportionate limbs would have had, and many theories have been proposed, ranging from assistance in getting up from the ground, to hanging onto its mate during intercourse.

Hee hee. Intercourse.

However, until we have a little more to go on than some old bones and illustrated children's books, it is unlikely we will ever know for sure. Nonetheless, any disadvantage such stubby forelimbs may have caused in terms of mobility would have been made up for by the much larger and considerably more muscular hind legs. While it is unknown exactly how fast Tyrannosaurus Rex would have been able to run, recent computer simulations place an estimate at between 15-20 miles per hour. While this is not as fast as it has previously been depicted in films such as Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park 2 - The Lost World and Jurassic Park 3, it is still faster than I can run, and I expect it's faster than you can too. If you say otherwise, you are lying. More importantly though, it is slightly faster than the estimated running speed of many of the species Tyrannosaurs were thought to prey on.

Predator or mumblescavengermumble?

There has been recent conflict within the scientific community about Tyrannosaurus Rex's previously unchallenged
position as an awesome predator who could have totally had King Kong. Sadly, the conflict has so far been fought
through words and not violence. Some palaeontologists, such as Jack Horner (not the corner-sitting christmas pie eater,
but the American discoverer of Maiasaura and the technical advisor to such films as Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park 2-
The Lost World, and Jurassic Park 3) have put forward the theory that T-Rex was a scavenger instead, using its
enormous size to chase smaller predators off their kills. To back up this claim, scavenger proponents point out
T-Rex's large nasal cavity -a familiar feature in modern scavengers as it helps them sniff out carcasses - and its
powerful jaw pressure which seems perfectly designed for crushing bones, which is also a common feature amongst
scavengers as it allows them to get to the more nutritious parts of the bone (such as the marrow), thus gaining more
nutrients than they otherwise would from an already half-eaten corpse.

However, other scientists and dinosaur enthusiasts (such as the extremely biased author of this article) point
out that Tyrannosaurus Rex's binocular vision is a feature shared more with active predators than modern
scavengers (who usually have their eyes placed slightly to the side, allowing a wider view to watch out for any
carcass thieves or predators). Also, there has been fossil evidence to suggest that T-Rex did like a good fight
now and then, such as Tyrannosaur tooth marks on the crest of a Triceratops (which had partially healed,
indicating the Trike survived the ordeal and was therefore not being scavenged on), as well as tooth marks on the
facial bones of other tyrannosaurs. It is unlikely that a large, saw toothed creature with a violent temperament would
have had any qualms about hunting its own prey.

It is far, far more likely that tyrannosaurus rex was an active predator that scavenged what it could as well,
similar to modern day lions. Torn bloody flesh is torn bloody flesh after all, and it is unlikely that
tyrannosaurs would have turned their powerful noses up at any opportunity to feed. In short, they
sure as hell would have tried to kill and eat you if you'd been around back then, and your guns would have been
totally useless.

---

MainPage

DinoSaurs

Related Links
The International Jurassic Park Erotic Fan Fiction Writer's Association